


From a Veil

by wordsmisleadinghere



Series: The Time Machine [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I swear not all of my HP fic is sad, Just most of it, M/M, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Set during Deathly Hallows, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 12:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17467469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsmisleadinghere/pseuds/wordsmisleadinghere
Summary: So there Remus sat, looking at the veil. Hoping (dimly though it may have been) that it might stir some thought or some eloquence. Or that the veil itself might stir.





	From a Veil

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in December 2007. 
> 
> Written for round three of [fullmooncircle](https://fullmooncircle.livejournal.com/) using prompt #77, “Remus goes visit the veil after his fight with Harry at Grimmauld Place.”

It was the first time Remus had been in that dark room since that night. Before the thought seemed too painful, but something about what happened with Harry had compelled him to go.   
  
He couldn’t blame Harry for his anger and he regretted all that had happened almost instantly. Still, Harry didn’t understand. He could never. And Remus wasn’t sure if he could even begin to explain himself.  
  
So there he sat, looking at the veil. Hoping (dimly though it may have been) that it might stir some thought or some eloquence. Or that the veil itself might stir.   
  
Remus sighed. Perhaps that’s why he couldn’t tell Harry the truth. If he did, it could very well shatter his image of his godfather. He couldn’t let that happen, Remus would rather Harry’s view of himself change. He loved Sirius too much to allow that to happen. Even if it meant Harry thought Remus didn’t care for his wife and child.  
  
But he did more than he could say. More than he could allow himself to think about or feel. To do so made him feel like he was betraying Sirius and most of all himself. Because, in truth, his love of Sirius was too much for him to bear as well.   
  
Remus… liked to be alone, or at least he told himself so. He was dangerous. What he was was dangerous and unpredictable. He hated the idea that he could unknowingly hurt someone he loved or that they could hurt because of him.   
  
Remus wanted to stay alone. He had to stay alone. And the solitude was easy enough, until he was sixteen. When he could no longer contain himself and kissed Sirius. Only to be shocked when instead of breaking his nose and never speaking to him, Sirius kissed back. Sending so much of his life, even years later, into chaos.  
  
And then the tears came. That too was a first since that night. Remus had done his best to distance himself, to not think, to act like it didn’t happen. All in the guise of being a pillar of strength to everyone else. When the truth was that part of him, like Harry, wanted to run after Sirius through the veil.   
  
The truth was he clutched onto Harry to save himself.   
  
Though at the time he wasn’t sure why, now the reason was clear. He had to see this through, see it all end and fight with all he had. Move on and live the life that James and Lily had a taste of. Love again the way he knew Sirius would want, even though he would always be the one.   
  
He owed it to them.


End file.
